Finally, you really need to ask good questions and listen carefully to the answers. But when it comes to building good relationships there are a handful of core skills that really help–things like asking good questions, listening carefully, and learning how to manage differences and disagreements constructively instead of destructively.
The better you are at asking questions, the more you’ll learn about someone you meet online and the better you’ll be able to gauge whether this person might be a good fit for you (and vice versa).
So what should you ask someone interesting when you meet online? This question gets a bad rap sometimes as unimaginative and banal, but I think it’s hugely important.
What people do to earn a living tells you a lot about them.
In many people’s minds, meeting on a dating site or via email was an automatic strike against your chances of forging a serious, long-term relationship. Meeting online is now one of the most common ways to find a partner.
Literally millions of people (including me) who first met online are now married, and psychologists are starting to examine these relationships. One independent study surveyed almost 20,000 Americans who met their spouse online.
Whether we like it or not, our family experiences have played a large role in shaping us in all sorts of ways – our likes and dislikes, our approach to communication and conflict, and what we instinctively consider to be “normal”.
I’d like to help you out before that next big dinner or coffee by offering some creative questions to ask a guy on a first date that you can use if you need to stir upa conversation.
Use one or two on your date and the conversation should begin to flow.
You also have more opportunities to see whether someone’s words match their actions.
Meeting for a quick coffee early in the process isn’t always feasible, however. There are good reasons that asking questions and listening well are relationship superpowers.