For Jasmine Tobie, a 29-year-old graduate student at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa, seeing someone else’s transgressions via email has saved them from a toxic relationship.
After finding some receipts that proved her boyfriend was lying to her about being on a business trip one weekend, she decided to look at his email to be sure before she pulled the plug on the relationship.
“I now have this paranoia where I wouldn’t even share it even if I trusted someone.
You never know what’s going to upset someone,” she says.
Sixty-four percent of 18-29-year-olds share passwords, compared with 70% of 30-49-year-olds, 66% of 50-64-year-olds, and 69% of those over 65.
And you don’t have to be a teenager to have password problems with your significant other.
That means there’s some fundamental issue with your relationship beyond privacy.” Breuer, a 22-year-old student at Yale University, has most American couples on his side.
It’s a matter of convenience — she can check his email when he can’t access it or get into his phone to change the song playing on the speakers. “I feel like it’s so much easier to live in a relationship where you know you have nothing to hide and are entirely 100 percent honest about who you are and what you’re doing,” he says.
“Once I found that I just had to have more evidence.” She didn’t know his password, but was able to guess correctly using clues on his desktop. He had taken a trip to visit an ex and told me it was a work trip.
He was still signed up with dating sites and other ‘hookup’ sites and actively communicating with those people…I found some pictures of him and people he swore were ‘friends’ in the act.” The two had dated for a year and lived together for about nine months.
Suzy*, a 46-year-old mother living in Brooklyn, got into a dangerous situation years ago when her then-boyfriend started reading her emails.
She hadn’t given him her password, but one day she forgot to log out and he checked her email.