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    It means all other things being equal, two people, of whatever race, should have the same chance to have a successful relationshp.

    But now let’s look at the table of how individuals actually reply to each other’s messages.

    At a minimum, it is a waste of your time, as more likely than not, non-exclusive relationships peter out. It is rude and disrespectful to be subject to such behavior. Dating someone while they’re dating other people is the same thing.

    At worst, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak, getting attached to a person who refuses to focus on you. While he’s out with you having coffee, his mind could be on the dinner he had with her last night. I know many people think, It’s okay if he’s dating others besides me.

    Perhaps, in the end you didn’t either, so no harm, right? If you had dated exclusively, both of you would have come to this place sooner and not wasted precious time.

    Worse, if in fact you did fall for him, then you’re left heartbroken and empty.

    We’ve processed the messaging habits of over a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. When I first started looking at first-contact attempts and who was writing who back, it was immediately obvious that the sender’s race was a huge factor.

    It would be awesome if other big websites would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. Here are just a handful of the numbers that illustrate that: The takeaway here is that although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. First of all, how do we know that race shouldn’t matter?

    get dating-76get dating-24

    But you really like him and don’t want to leave him because you think maybe tomorrow he will tell you that he wants to date you exclusively.

    However, this, like so many other fine assumptions, totally breaks down when race gets involved: Again, don’t bother squinting, just check out the colors. So here’s last week’s compatibility by race table (I explained how we can confidently measure “compatibility” in that post).

    This is a blow-up of the leftmost table above: As you can see, the races all match each other roughly evenly: good news.

    I want to be with you without the distraction of other men.

    If we don’t work out and wind up going our separate ways, at least I’ll know I gave us a fair shot. I expect you to treat me with the same courtesy.” And if he refuses, consider yourself lucky that you’re finding this out now, before throwing away months when you could be dating more effectively. You’d be surprised how much a statement like that will impress and be endearing to quality guys. Sometimes guys need to tell women this as well.) There’s no bigger turn-off than a woman without self-confidence.

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