We have differed a little bit on this, as I mentioned, and I am the one who is the most hesitant about coming out.
My two lovers have been really kind about respecting my fears about the children and agree to keep it private for now, but we all look forward for the day when we can just be open.
At first she was reticent—but, as she put it, “the opportunity to share with others a glimpse into our life is too good to pass up.” So here’s our interview.
Honestly, the term “polyamorous” wasn’t on our radar when we fell in love.
It was later that we discovered there was a term for what we were.
If we need a term, we consider ourselves “poly-fidelitous,” which is what poly’s call those who love more than one person in a long-term, faithful kind of way.
We had yet to learn that love can be bigger than two.
The realization that each leg of the relationship must be strong or the whole thing falls apart was a major discovery for us, and one that helped us shift into a truly solid loving relationship as a three.
Once we learned to see our partner’s individual relationship together as a strength and not a threat, we found ourselves released from the trap of jealousy and insecurity and that let us nurture and grow a deepening love.
In our case, since we are a three-person relationship, seeing my lovers relate happily together means that our three-person relationship is stable and supportive.
Their love strengthens my individual relationships with them both and our relationship all together as a three.
I personally feel very compelled to be in the closet, almost entirely because of our children and for the safety of our professional careers.
There are eight kids in our house, and we live in an extremely conservative town in a very Republican part of the South.