They either disappear when they start to feel panicky about the fact that you will want, need, and expect in line with the great show they have been putting on.Or…they just revert to the ‘real them’, ripping the rug from under your feet and replacing hot with cold and someone who you barely recognise. People who engage in Fast-Forwarding are Future Fakers, whether they directly do it by talking up a storm about plans or do it indirectly by behaving so intensely and putting so many demands on you (emotional, sexual, wanting to be with you all the time), that they let you believe that the level of intensity you are experiencing is what is on offer.I’ll be honest with you – while there are anomalies where people have had a whirlwind romance that progressed, in the overwhelming majority of cases, when someone wants to be intense immediately or very quickly and fast-forwards you through the relationship, it is a red flag.In fact, let me say it real straight for you – this is not a fairy tale. You’re not in a rom com where you move at high speed to a happy ending.If you took things a bit more slowly, you could actually get to know each other.The high intensity of Fast-Forwarded Relationships is impossible to sustain and when the intensity stops, it feels like you’ve crashed and burned.The relationships that survive (healthily) are ones where the two people have slowed down but are in essence still the same two people that met and there isn’t a dramatic shift in character and integrity.
If you love and trust blindly and get sucked into being moved along at high speed, you will be blind in the relationship when you actually have a responsibility to yourself to have your eyes open. Slowing down and actually getting to know each other at a healthier pace creates a connection.
He kept trying to pick up the pace of things and after some initial reluctance she let herself get swept up in it and started to trust him and her feelings increased.
A weekend in the country, romantic walks in the park, lots of phone calls and texts, and then being introduced one night to his friends and colleagues who all said they’d never seen him like that, all in the space of a few weeks. I have countless emails from readers telling me stories of guys (and women) who moved the initial dating period along at high speed.
If they’re still around and things are going from bad to worse, you’ll be getting the hot and cold treatment while thinking ‘It was so great in the beginning! ’ and then sinking all your efforts into trying to retrieve the beginning of the relationship.
It’s nice to feel adored and if you’re a passion seeker that tends to talk about ‘type’ ‘compatability’ ‘common interests’ ‘passion’ ‘connection’ etc, you’ll be ripe for someone to fast-forward the crap out of you and then feel desolate and inclined to go on the validation seeking trail when things start to go wrong.